And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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