And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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