the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Just invented taco cereal.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
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