i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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