its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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