Her vagina should come with caution tape.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
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she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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