Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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