yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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