i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
