I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize