fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
