Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
