i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
