its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
