I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
