spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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