I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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