i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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