bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
