This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
