1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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