Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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