I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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