May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize