I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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