Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
