I think I am morally bankrupt
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
