he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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