At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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