but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize
