If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
