She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
