But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
