Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
