thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Randomize
