Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
