Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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