The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
