I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
