What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
