I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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