I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
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easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
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I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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