R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
