Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
