Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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