and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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