office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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