My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
