I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
