i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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