She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize