Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
