I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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