Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
