The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
